When faced with a challenge in life, what do you usually do to relieve the pressure? Are you the type of person who immediately calls your best friend? Or does the difficulty in life mean it’s time to grab your purse and go shopping? Or perhaps food is your preferred method of soothing: ice cream, a cup of coffee, drinks with friends.

We may think these are just unspoken preferences born out of our personality or perhaps how we saw parents and mentors deal with issues growing up. However, these habits actually reveal something about us and what we put our trust in.

I know because I’ve had seasons of turning to coping mechanisms to satisfy. There were many nights when I called friends in tears. There were seasons of hiding in my room with Netflix and eating as much chocolate as I could.

And sometimes these methods soothed. But usually, they only relieved the pain for a little bit. And then there it was, back in my face, that issue I was trying to deal with or avoid.

That’s how the Lord created space for me to make prayer a habit in my life — it was born out of a desperate need for relief.

What if you had a friend you could call about an issue who could actually do something about it? What if that shopping spree delivered a purchase that could fill the void with unspeakable and unshakable hope? What if that treat hid the secret ingredients to make the worry go away?

True prayer life has to be born out of a heart need. Prayer born out of external requirements creates a lifeless relationship. Prayer built from deep heart needs will change your life because we will make time for the things we desire. We will turn to habits that provide true relief.

Surrounding ourselves with people who are walking in that same transformative trust is what will motivate us to keep going when life throws a curveball. Like the following true story of my friend’s brother-in-law:

They said that he would never walk on his own again. The motorcycle accident had destroyed the muscles in his right leg and they would have to amputate in the morning if they were to save the healthy parts of his limb.

His family hovered around him feeling hopeless. They were “praying” for him, but their prayers were more like reluctant hail mary’s trying to get their hearts to accept the seemingly inevitable.

It’s so easy to feel hopeless when the world tells us that the facts are set in stone. But that is the best environment for God to step in and work His wonders.

It was less than 24 hours before his scheduled surgery and he was preparing his mind to never walk on his own again. And then his brother showed up with a spirit-filled friend in faith, and the script started to change.

“Did you know God still heals?” they asked him. “Do you believe that He has a good plan for your life to give you hope and a future?”

The conversation started changing from hopeless defeat to hope-filled belief. The God of the heavens and the earth, who made every limb in his body, was still on the throne. And He had a plan and a purpose. He was asking His son to stop coping with unbelief and step into believing.

The prayers that followed were not intense declaration of healing by the strength of our might. There was no chanting or superstitious rituals. There was simply a switching posture of the heart to declare a need before God; and activation of trust that He was in control.

And peace, my friend, filled that room. Unspeakable peace and unshakeable hope.

The next morning they got a phone call that solidified their resolve that prayer was their mainstay. His leg was healing with no explanation by doctors. There were muscles growing back on parts of his leg that were declared medically necrosis (or beyond repair). Eight hours before his surgery, the scheduled amputation was canceled. And today, he is a walking miracle of the hand of God still moving among us.

This is why I recount and remember the testimonies in my own life and in the lives of my friends. To remind me of the God I serve in moments of doubt or wanting to give up. Because God is still actively moving today reminding us that He is the God of the impossible. This is just one of many stories my friends have shared this month.

Our prayer habits are not cultivated out of outward requirements and traditions. They flow from real heart needs in everyday moments.

The faith to pray for muscles to heal doesn’t just happen. It comes from leaning into God moment by moment and watching Him provide. It comes from listening for His lead and working those muscles of trust over time. As we watch Him move, our faith is bolstered. And it gives us confidence for the next battle ahead.

I don’t write today from a place of having conquered this prayer habit, but having a fresh need to lean into His sufficiency. Today my family faces a new health challenge and I have a choice this week: will I lean on the coping mechanisms of the past or will I remember the stories of God’s faithfulness? Will I grab hold of a faith that declares that the same God who put the stars in the sky has a plan and a purpose for my life!

He is not surprised by our circumstances. He is right there with us in every detail. He is ready to help us grow our faith in just how involved He is.

Give yourself a little grace if your prayer life is not what you want it to be. Understanding the importance of our heart posture and response to circumstances is step one to creating a robust habit of prayer. Little by little, prayer will become a habit we begin to long for.

Making Prayer a Habit to Look Forward To