Equipped By God
“Thank you for leading the way you do.”
Huh? Me? Surely you mean someone—anyone—else.
“You are creating a healthy environment for us and it’s exactly what I need in this season. Thank you for all you’re doing.”
Excuse me while I just collapse into a puddle of awkward tears.
You see, a year ago, I don’t believe anyone would’ve said anything like that to me. I would’ve been more rigid, less empathetic, and more reticent to be transparent with others. It’s a wonderful reminder of the journey the Lord has been walking with me over the past few years.
In January 2017, I quit my full-time job without a clear plan of what I would do after. For a control freak planner like me, this was a leap of faith of epic proportions. For a year and a half, I was my own boss, and I wrote to my heart’s content. I learned a lot about business, the different types of writing that exist, and working with clients. More than anything else, I learned much about the Lord and myself.
I saw the graciousness of God in a light I hadn’t seen before. He provided for me again and again in little and big ways, and each was a beautiful example of grace in my life. He so sweetly showed me that my identity isn’t found in what I do, what I produce, or the position I hold, but in Him.
This is a lesson I treasure, but struggle to live out daily. But now, because I understand grace a little better than I did before, I can be more liberal with my doling it out.
I’m learning to embrace this balance between rules and relationships, deliverables and discipleship, and productivity and people. These categories don’t have to be mutually exclusive, but can combine beautifully into a healthy environment for people to thrive in.
Do I have everything figured out? Of course not! But I know more than I did before and I hope that, a year from now, I will be more healed and able to lead even more effectively. My prayer is that I continue to look more and more like Jesus and less and less like how I used to. Then, like Paul, I can say “follow me as I follow Christ” and trust that God will give me the wisdom, the grace, and the direction to lead others well.
In the meantime, I’m daily amazed at the preparation God has given me over the past few years. And I know every day is an opportunity to learn something new that will help me in the future, whether 20 hours, days, or years from now.
Nothing is wasted with God, and I am thankful for that.
I encourage you to take some time and meditate on God’s preparation for your current season. I believe you will see His hand sweetly guiding you over the past few years, equipping you for where you are now.
Take a few minutes and wonder at the loving sovereignty of God today!
