Independence and freedom. Wives often find themselves looking back a few years or even months, realizing how much those two things have changed.

What they do not realize is how it is a good change, not bad. And that they have not lost these two things, it just looks different.

It is easy to catch yourself looking to your former self - free of responsibility, free of obligation and free to answer only to yourself.

That all swiftly becomes different when you marry, with the added responsibility of being a wife and co-head of a household, the obligation to allow another person into your life fully and choosing to place your husband before yourself in every moment. While that may sound bad or feel weird at first…God has purpose for us through this transformation of our lives.

“Praise be to the name of God forever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons…He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.” (Daniel 2:20-21, New International Version)

It is okay to miss the carefree days of adolescence, but darling…adulthood is so much grander!

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I set aside childish ways.” (1 Corinthians 13:11, New English Translation)

Sure there are bills and greater chores, but you also have your husband by your side through it all, day-by-day. Don’t look to the past for you happiness, look out to the now and to the future to find a more liberating independence and freedom in your marriage and ultimately in God.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4, English Standard Version)

Your purpose is within your home now and if that does not excite you, I am not sure what would. You have the ability to not only impact your life daily, but the life of your husband.

Do not look at marriage as a ball-and-chain relationship, rather include your husband in the independence and freedom of life you are experiencing with him there.

What does this look like inside and outside of your home?

So often I hear wives speaking poorly about their lives and even their husbands. This is a big no-no and we need to be conscious of what we speak to others.

We are called to uplift our better halves and beyond that, speak highly of others….not put them down. What is said out loud and behind someone’s back will absolutely come full circle to mirror your relationship with that person. It will spread like wildfire into the place you call home without you even realizing it.

“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire.…For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue…With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” (James 3:5-9, ESV)

Before you say something about your significant other, the love of your life, and the home you have built with them - make sure it is uplifting, true and Godly. A good rule of thumb is: would you say it in front of your child or even about your children or would you want someone to speak of you in such a way.

It may be difficult when other wives are painting their husbands or lives at home in a poor light to not chime in, but once you begin speaking of the good you will see how it will change the way others may speak and it will absolutely change the relationship you have with your husband.

“For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good.” (Matthew 12:34-35, ESV)

That leads to your purpose inside the home. Take a moment to look at your husband - it may be in this moment as you read, the moment he walks through the door after a long day at work or as you climb into bed tonight - and notice him, acknowledge him and uplift him. “I love you’s” only go so far. He needs to hear how handsome he is, how proud of him you are, how you are thankful for the way he provides for you.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, ESV)

God placed this man into your life and has given you the love to pour out to him each day. Don’t forget to do so.

Your purpose may look different in marriage, it may seem like you have lost the independence and freedom of years past, but God guides you into this ever-changing season to grow in dependence alongside your hubby and freedom to live life to the fullest with the one you love forevermore.

New International Version (NIV)

New English Translation (NET)

English Standard Version (ESV)

Finding a Purpose at Home