Lessons in Friendship
We all need it. It takes time and intentionality to cultivate. And times of pressure reveal its true worth.
As the world practices the strange art of social distancing, many of us have been thinking about friendship in new and creative ways.
What is friendship? How do we maintain it? And what is most important about it?
In a season when you can’t hang out in person, how do you stay connected with the community that makes life valuable? Are you digging deep to find creative ways to stay connected to those you love?
Have you been asking yourself these questions?
We all need someone to bounce ideas off of, laugh with and cry with.
It’s easy to take friendship for granted until you don’t have it in your life on a regular basis. When you have to find ways to cultivate it, the way you choose to reach out is much more intentional. Who do you want to grow deep with? Who challenges you to think bigger? Who encourages you when you are down? Who can you breathe life and hope into?
If one good thing can come out of this strange COVID-19 season, perhaps it’s that we have all been taking the time to think about what really matters to us. Where is it that we are going and who is going there with us?
I have often written on friendship on my personal blog and the characteristics we should be looking for in good friends, so I won’t re-iterate those thoughts here. But instead look at some practical ways we can maintain friendships that last in this season.
I reached out to some of my friends who excel in this area, and here are some suggestions we collected for your benefit. I hope it stirs some ideas to create sweet and meaningful connection this summer.
Don’t wait for them to reach out - This is something I think we can grow in no matter the season. We don’t have to wait for someone else to reach out first. We all have insecurities, but someone has to take the initiative. So why not it be you?
Be the friend you want to hang out with - My favorite moments of connection are with the people who are for me. There is something about being present, speaking life and encouraging hope. Are you encouraging deeper conversation? Asking follow up questions and sharing your own journey along the way? Let’s be that kind of friend and look for friends who do likewise.
Get Creative - We all evolve and change, and our friendships must as well if we want them to stay healthy and vibrant. What is most helpful and needed in this season? Friendship doesn’t have to be a coffee date like in the “old days.” Although coffee over zoom is not a bad idea. But what new things are you developing in this season and who else is growing in that same direction? Find ways to share ideas and grow together. Is it gardening? Writing? Trying new recipes? Reading new books? Why not do it together? Friendship is about sharing the experiences of life with someone else who has the same passions.
Social distancing does not mean hide in your house - One of my friends has been extremely creative during this time. Everything from dropping off snacks at friends front doors, to having ice cream dates in her car with friends in their car, to game nights on zoom. From her experience, she feels like she is getting to know people better in this season than before. There is a lot to be said for the harvest of intentionality. We must find ways to stay healthy in the mind and that means finding ways of doing life the way we were designed. What are some ways you have been doing that?
It’s okay for seasons to change - One thing that is hard for me is letting go of relationships that are growing in different directions. But if God is taking us someplace new, it’s okay to let go of the old. Sometimes people are just in our life for a season, no fault of anyones. That’s okay. Let every chapter stay where it is supposed to stay and keep growing in the direction God is leading you.
We all can have seasons of feeling alone or isolated. But you don’t have to let this season be one of them. We are all in the same boat and making the time to reach out to others to keep this season as normal as possible is essential for our health and well being. You are not alone and we are in this together!
Hope this gave you some ideas to stay engaged and involved. Feel free to share other ideas in the comments below.
