From Ignoring to Beholding God
I didn't grow up in church, but once I started attending as a teenager I quickly assimilated into the culture. I figured out the right things to say at the right time to keep up the appearance that I had it all together. As a high achiever and a perfectionist, I found the church to be a great place to perform for acceptance.
As I grew in church culture, I learned how to coast in my relationship with God. Because I can look like I have everything together on the outside, I can fool people into thinking that my relationship with God is solid. I know enough of the Bible, I know how to pray, I know how to write about the Lord, so I can go through the motions without actually spending time with Him.
At the beginning of this year, I realized I had made my way into that coasting place again. I wasn't reading my Bible as much, I wasn't praying as I should and I definitely wasn't living in community the way God has called me to.
When I realized I had drifted, I slowly started making my way toward shore.
For the first half of the year, I read my Bible most days and was praying a little more. I hadn't really engaged with godly community, but I was listening to more sermons and reading Christian books, so I figured that gave me a pass. Then God called me to take September as a sabbath month. He reminded me that He is jealous for me. God wanted my attention. He longed to spend time with me.
During that month, I realized how much I had allowed myself to settle. I hadn't been spending my time truly seeking God's face; I had just been checking an item off of a to-do list. As a Christian, I knew I should read the Bible, but I didn't study it or savor it like I used to. As I dove into God's word more and more during my Sabbath month, I began to crave it more and more. The more I prayed, the more I wanted to pray. The more I repented, the more I longed for the gracious repentance of God.
Behold.
Taste and See.
For a few days, those were the words that played on repeat in my mind. I couldn't shake them. Because the words would not leave me, I asked the Lord about them. I felt like He said that the church has a beholding problem. The people of God don't take the time to taste and see Him.
When I heard those words from my loving God who sacrificed everything for me, I was heartbroken. God longs to be enjoyed by His people. He wants to spend time with us. Jesus's sacrifice wasn't just to save us from an eternity of hell, but to restore our relationship with God.
This is why I wrote Behold: 40 Days of Seeing and Savoring God, now available on Amazon. This devotional is a simple invitation for us to stop, be still and meet with God. There's lots of space for notes and ample margins for the Holy Spirit to speak. I hope and pray that this devotional would help us break free from the to-do list or drive-by Christianity and engage in a deep conversation with God. He loves us and longs to spend time with us, let's choose to meet with Him!
Let's take a few moments, sit in silence and behold God. Let's meet with our God who is crazy about us and longs to spend time with us!
