Everything seemed to finally be going right, and yet, I felt so isolated.

I received an email congratulating me on my one year anniversary with the after school program I work for. In October 2019, I had a moment of such gratitude. Someone finally gave me a chance and hired me for my first job at 26. It was so perfect because I wanted to work with kids, and the hours allowed me to continue focusing on my small crochet business. I was able to be a vendor at a huge art festival in my city called ArtsGoggle, where I almost sold out. I just started leading a small group at my church with women who are still incredible friends today.

Though there were many wonderful things to be thankful for, I still felt overwhelming pain and struggled with not wanting to be here anymore.

Most people have already talked about this, but this has been a rough year. Everything changed so suddenly, for everyone.

For me, we said goodbye to our students for spring break fully expecting to see them again soon, and then we didn't go back. Not until seven months later in early October, but everything remains different. The kids can't play together the way they used to.

I have The Everyday Life Bible with notes from Joyce Meyer (highly recommend). In one note she talks about how her emotions reflected whatever her circumstances looked like.

"One day I said to God, 'Why is this happening?' He impressed upon my heart, 'I am teaching you that man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord' (Deuteronomy 8:3). Bread was the daily sustenance for the children of Israel. Bread kept them going. When the Lord spoke to me about bread, He was saying, 'I am trying to teach you that you cannot live by all these other things that seem to keep you going. You must look to Me for your daily strength.'" (Joyce Meyer, The Everyday Life Bible, AMP)*

After a season of feeling so isolated and like I absolutely needed to be around friends, and when I felt like the only thing that gave me a bit of purpose was working with kids, suddenly everyone had to social distance and the schools and churches closed. With no gathering of friends, no students and no kids ministry I had to learn to truly rely on God.

“Then he said to me, ‘This [continuous supply of oil] is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel [prince of Judah], saying, ‘Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit [of whom the oil is a symbol],’ says the LORD of hosts.” (Zechariah 4:6, AMP)

While the world seemed to crumble before us, God was piecing me together. It's amazing to think about how He could restore hope and dreams for the future in the midst of such uncertainty.

We need to learn to sit and dwell in who God is, not in what's going on around us. This scripture is saying that God's Spirit is a continuous supply for us. Everything God is and has for us — His love, comfort, peace that surpasses all understanding — shows us that He is our Helper, Intercessor, Friend, and so much more.

“Jesus Christ is [eternally changeless, always] the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8, AMP)

Things have been much harder on some than others. Our burdens, emotional or otherwise may feel too heavy to carry on our own, but thankfully we don't have to. We don't have to rely on our own strength, we can lean on God's. I hope this encourages you and that you're able to find rest in who God is and in knowing that no matter how much things around us may change, God never does. He is our constant, our continuous supply, always with you and for you.

God's Unchanging Character